Hardwyre Posted July 2, 2011 Report Share Posted July 2, 2011 Comedy abounds at the Foster Pick'n'Pull. What does this mean? That's right kids! It's..... Wasn't today just a damn awesome, beautiful day? The kind of day that makes couples hold hands, hot cars go cruising, birds sing, and petty larcenists fail at life and get their asses handed to them by their parents. Yes, today was a damn fine day to be pulling parts. I've spent three days on the red 300ZX in row 38. Day one was trying to figure out just how get all the bolts removed and realizing I didn't have the right tools. Day two was right tools, but not enough time. Day three was full of win on multiple levels. I was laying under the car taking a short breather while trying to figure out why the transmission refused to come out. As I was shining the light up into the narrow gap between the trans tunnel and the trans itself, I spied one final bolt that I had previous missed the day before. Think to myself .oO(Well son of a bitch!), I began to reach out the opposite side of the car where my tools were sitting. I was laying legs out on the passenger side while my kit was on the driver side. In addition to my tools was a pair of shoes that hadn't been there before. Shoes that I'm assuming belonged to the legs and eventually to the hand that popped down from out of view and into my tool bag. What the hand came up with was something I'm pretty sure didn't belong to it because it just so happened to belonged to me. Fucker was stealing my LED head lamp. I did the most rational, considerate, and practical thing I could think of; I took a swing at the questionable entrepreneur's shin with my 1/2" ratchet as I slid out from under the car. It wasn't an all out swing-for-the-fences attempt, more of a how-do-ya-do swing. It connected, he screamed, and I popped to my feet with a "Hi! How's the leg?" What stood before me was a mid-teens black kid who looked like a confused cross between sports hero and Snoop Dogg lackey. To his credit, he got his wits about him pretty quickly and started yelling "What the fuck man!?" I love how thieves are perpetually confused. Me: "Dude, you're snipin' my light." Kid: "Fuck you! Am not!" Me: "Seriously? What's in your pocket?" Kid: "Fuck yo..." another voice, all the more intimidating voice joined the conversation, cutting sticky fingers off mid swear. Rock Golem: "WHAT YOU DOIN' TO MY SON!?" I didn't know that obsidian came in human shape, and I sure as shit didn't think it could bellow angrily, let along move. Me: "Wow! Hey, your boy here is trying to make off with my stuff." The massive amount of energy that is stored in a parent's defensive rage could power solar systems. It does not dissipate easily; however, it can be directed seamlessly. And those fiery, pissed off eyes immediately locked on to a teen who suddenly seemed scared of not reaching an age where he could legally buy porn. Force of Nature: "POCKETS! NOW!" Kid: "But da.." Solar Entity: "NOW!!" The kid reached into his pocket and produced my head lamp, but also a couple of sockets of mine as well. Living Volcano: "ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME!? THIS SHIT AGAIN!? YOU STONED OR STUPID?" Kid: "Nei... nei.. neither..." Sentient Hurricane: "THEN WHAT ARE YOU!? ARE YOU A DAMN N**GER!?" Kid: "What!?" Tectonic Plates: "Don't you dare what me boy! We in the fucking junkyard, I WILL bury your ass out there! Now answer me! Are you a n**ger!?" Kid: "No!" Asteroid that killed the dinosaurs: "Then why you actin' like one?! Give the man his property!" *kid sheepishly hands me my tools immediately followed by the smoldering embodiment of rage making eye contact with me again* "Sir, I apologize. It must be my fault, I was drinkin' while his mom was pregnant with him. Must have made him stupid 'cuz I sure as hell didn't raise him to act like no damn n**ger!" Me: "Hey, no harm. He looks like he's got a bit of the fear of God in him now." Nuclear arms race: "No, he ain't done learnin' yet. Bad decisions have bad consequences. Get out your wallet Jordan!" Kid: "What!? Why!?" Plague that killed 2/3rd of Europe: "Boy! Junkyard..." The kid pulls out his wallet dejectedly. Darkmatter: "You just got paid. Give the man $50 bucks." Kid: "But what wait!" Blackhole: "Junkyard, boy." Kid: "But I only got's 20's." Deathstar: "Oh, then it looks like you'll be givin' him $60." The kid pulls out three $20 bills and reluctantly handed them over to me. Primal Essence: "Now git your ass to the car!" he looks at me, offers a hand and shakes mine, "Money'll make him learn. We cool?" Me: "We're cool. Have a damn fine weekend." Glacieral drift: "Me and the misses gonna have a great weekend. The grand parents got a barn that needs the horse shit shoveled out of. That should keep him out of everyone's hair." Me: *Sly grin and a nod* We shook hands one more time and a few on lookers clapped. The pain in the ass bit is that it was just about closing now and I didn't have time to pull the flywheel and clutch. I can get the flywheel, clutch, and pressure plate for about $40 with the sale going on this weekend. I have no idea what condition they're truly in, but the one that was on there was a gun metal grey color. I'm not sure if I should use that one or put on a brand new clutch since it'll be out of the car. Anyone have any idea what the going price for a decent clutch and having a flywheel turned costs? All in all it was a pretty kick ass deal for me. It's not often someone's stupidity MAKES you money. :) Edit: Typos... always typos. 3 Quote Link to comment
NOTES... Posted July 2, 2011 Report Share Posted July 2, 2011 Epic WIN!! nice.. he will learn... Quote Link to comment
Laecaon Posted July 2, 2011 Report Share Posted July 2, 2011 So hilarious. Sensible parent too. Quote Link to comment
Wide14u Posted July 2, 2011 Report Share Posted July 2, 2011 what a great story that is just to funny Quote Link to comment
Shagy Posted July 2, 2011 Report Share Posted July 2, 2011 Holy shit....this is fucking EPIC!!!!!! I'M GOING TO print this and hang it in my garage so when my kid is old enough he or she can read it and be prepared....... Lol.....talk about full of win! 1 Quote Link to comment
Hardwyre Posted July 2, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 2, 2011 I seriously thought I was going to die today. Serious, the dad looked like an angry Mark Henry. For those who don't know, here's an angry Mark Henry: Quote Link to comment
HRH Posted July 2, 2011 Report Share Posted July 2, 2011 :rofl: Epic, that is totally awesome, makes me feel better about humanity just reading it! :D Quote Link to comment
Wide14u Posted July 2, 2011 Report Share Posted July 2, 2011 I seriously thought I was going to die today. Serious, the dad looked like an angry Mark Henry. For those who don't know, here's an angry Mark Henry: i would have shit :rofl: Quote Link to comment
KA620KC Posted July 2, 2011 Report Share Posted July 2, 2011 HAHAHA that was fucking classic!! Epic on every level. Now if only every parent were like that we wouldn't have so many degenerates!!! Quote Link to comment
Jayden71 Posted July 2, 2011 Report Share Posted July 2, 2011 Thats awesome!!!! :lol: Quote Link to comment
flatcat19 Posted July 2, 2011 Report Share Posted July 2, 2011 Go Dad. Wow. I thought you were about to suffer some butt drama. But it ended with a win, for you. Quote Link to comment
Skib Posted July 2, 2011 Report Share Posted July 2, 2011 omg this story is so full of win. this gives me hope of mankind, someone doing some proper non self help 12 step left over hippy generation bullshit parenting. Quote Link to comment
bananahamuck Posted July 2, 2011 Report Share Posted July 2, 2011 Ya, but in the end, wasn`t the kid of this guy with such wonderful parenting skills >.............STEALING or did i miss something? Quote Link to comment
Skib Posted July 2, 2011 Report Share Posted July 2, 2011 Ya, but in the end, wasn`t the kid of this guy with such wonderful parenting skills >.............STEALING or did i miss something? it only goes so far..... but I dont think hes gonna be swiping anything from the JY any time soon. Quote Link to comment
Hardwyre Posted July 2, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 2, 2011 Ya, but in the end, wasn`t the kid of this guy with such wonderful parenting skills >.............STEALING or did i miss something? Yes, but something tells me that he's going to get a size 17 in the ass when he gets home. Anyways, this kid's bullshit community service and fines would have fallen upon his parents since it's unlikely he would have been able to pay the fines, so getting the cops involved wasn't really worth it. Anyways, I didn't want to have to explain to the cops why I assaulted a minor. :P Quote Link to comment
wildmaninid Posted July 2, 2011 Report Share Posted July 2, 2011 So much win involved........ 1 Quote Link to comment
bananahamuck Posted July 2, 2011 Report Share Posted July 2, 2011 Oh i get the moral of the story, and i very well told tale it was ( two thumbs up for sure ) but i would like to think as a parent of a troop of boys ( two of them teenagers ) i would have raised them with enough morals to not be put in that position. The response of elder scary dude may have put some value to the boys actions for sure. Quote Link to comment
hang_510 Posted July 2, 2011 Report Share Posted July 2, 2011 We in the fucking junkyard, I WILL bury your ass out there! Now answer me! Kid: "But what wait!" Blackhole: "Junkyard, boy." awesome! Quote Link to comment
Hardwyre Posted July 2, 2011 Author Report Share Posted July 2, 2011 So much win involved........ Oh i get the moral of the story, and i very well told tale it was ( two thumbs up for sure ) but i would like to think as a parent of a troop of boys ( two of them teenagers ) i would have raised them with enough morals to not be put in that position. The response of elder scary dude may have put some value to the boys actions for sure. Some times parents can do everything possible and still have a kid turn out to be a punk ass. Our society sort of encourages it, with the whole "my family is an island" bullshit. Quote Link to comment
MicroMachinery Posted July 2, 2011 Report Share Posted July 2, 2011 Cool story, bro. Quote Link to comment
danfiveten Posted July 2, 2011 Report Share Posted July 2, 2011 What a lil shit lol. Quote Link to comment
420n620 Posted July 2, 2011 Report Share Posted July 2, 2011 I love a happy ending to a cool story. :thumbup: Quote Link to comment
dennis Posted July 2, 2011 Report Share Posted July 2, 2011 That is awesome. I think that no matter how well you discipline your kids they all turn out the way they want to or how their personality dictates it. Quote Link to comment
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