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INSMNCS: John Cain


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A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas, and talked with an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "Okay , but don't go in that field over there.....", as he pointed o
ut the location.
The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me!" Reaching into his rear pants pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher. "See this fucking badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land !! No questions asked or answers given!! Have I made myself clear?.... do you understand?!!"
The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores. A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull...... With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified. The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Your badge, show him your fucking BADGE!!"

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11845147_1075329405810517_81027885394143

 

 

^^^^The rascal in the boat is a Datsunaholic in the early stages of metamorphosis. 

 

 

skib%20at%2010.jpg

 

 

 

I can't understand the Japanese chick.  What were the bumper cars built for?

 

I'd like to bumpher car

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Mad lib time!

 

Rules:

 

Rs and Ts can only start words. Anywhere else they're silent.

 

Hs are silent at the beginning of words.

 

Th=F

 

Friend=mate

 

Room=flat

 

Now go read VTR's story again. The punchline improves.

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