mrmark Posted December 17, 2013 Report Share Posted December 17, 2013 What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste! 1 Quote Link to comment
'70dime Posted December 17, 2013 Report Share Posted December 17, 2013 Two fish were in a tank one say to the other... "you drive, I'll man the guns." 1 Quote Link to comment
mrbigtanker Posted December 22, 2013 Report Share Posted December 22, 2013 boob prints 1 Quote Link to comment
Ratwagon1600 Posted December 22, 2013 Report Share Posted December 22, 2013 This is deep! 1 Quote Link to comment
toylet Posted December 26, 2013 Report Share Posted December 26, 2013 Got the old lady a shirt and a dildo for Christmas... that way she could go fuck herself if she doesn't like the shirt. 1 Quote Link to comment
'70dime Posted December 26, 2013 Report Share Posted December 26, 2013 What do apples and bannas have in common besides the fact that they are both fruit? They both can't drive tractors. Quote Link to comment
mrmark Posted December 27, 2013 Report Share Posted December 27, 2013 Whats the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute. the prostitute stops fucking you when you're dead! 4 Quote Link to comment
timbuhr Posted December 27, 2013 Report Share Posted December 27, 2013 A man walks up to a hooker and says you gave me the clap! the hooker says hell you paid for it I did not give it to you. 3 Quote Link to comment
timbuhr Posted December 27, 2013 Report Share Posted December 27, 2013 A man walks into a bar and see's a sign that says cheese sandwich's $2.00, hand jobs $5.00. he asks the ugly woman behind the bar "is that sign right" she says why yes .. then the man says then go wash your hands and make me a cheese sandwich..... 3 Quote Link to comment
timbuhr Posted December 27, 2013 Report Share Posted December 27, 2013 WHATS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A COP AND A PILE OF SHIT..? NOTHING! 1 Quote Link to comment
datzenmike Posted December 27, 2013 Report Share Posted December 27, 2013 The Golden Rules There will be no racial, ethnic, gender based insults or any other personal discriminations. There will be no posts meant to offend or hurt any other member, in a manner which is offensive or inflammatory. timbuhr for your racist humor take a couple of days off. Maybe stay out of the jokes section when you come back. 10 Quote Link to comment
Z-train Posted January 19, 2014 Report Share Posted January 19, 2014 Double Standard When a girl gets a vibrator, it's viewed as a bit of naughty fun. BUT when a guy orders a 240-Volt Sunbeam Fuck Master Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6-speed pulsating pussy, elasticized anus with non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built-in realistic orgasm scream surround sound system, with huge breasts with pink nipples; he's called a pervert! 3 Quote Link to comment
graveltrapp Posted January 23, 2014 Report Share Posted January 23, 2014 THE NEVER ENDING SOAP OPERA OF MARGARET & BERT . . . . . Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?"Margaret looked him over. "Nope."Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots.Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, "Notice anything different NOW?"Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan, "Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."Furious, Bert yelled, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?""Nope. Not a clue", she replied."IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!"Without missing a beat Margaret replied, "Shoulda bought a hat, Bert. Shoulda bought a hat." 7 Quote Link to comment
Z-train Posted March 25, 2014 Report Share Posted March 25, 2014 You are driving down the road in your Corvette on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus: 1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die. 2. An old friend who once saved your life. 3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about. Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car? Quote Link to comment
izzo Posted March 25, 2014 Report Share Posted March 25, 2014 You are driving down the road in your Corvette on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus: 1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die. 2. An old friend who once saved your life. 3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about. Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car? Trick question. I would get out, give the car to the guy who saved my life and have him give granny a ride. Then catch the bus with my dream girl... 2 Quote Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.