Dguy210 Posted February 9, 2018 Report Share Posted February 9, 2018 My favorite one-liner of all time: How do you make 5 pounds of fat beautiful? Add a nipple. 1 Quote Link to comment
heywier427 Posted April 20, 2018 Report Share Posted April 20, 2018 A pair of jumper cables walks into a bar. The bar tender looks at him and says, I'll serve you, but dont start anything. Quote Link to comment
420n620 Posted March 2, 2019 Report Share Posted March 2, 2019 An Irish painter by the name of Murphy, while not a brilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait artist. Over a short number of years, his fame grew and soon people from all over Ireland were coming to the town of Miltown Malbay, in County Clare, to get him to paint their likenesses. One day, a beautiful young English woman arrived at his house in a stretch limo and asked if he would paint her in the nude. This being the first time anyone had made such a request he was a bit perturbed, particularly when the woman told him that money wasno object; in fact, and she was willing to pay up to 10,000 pounds. Not wanting to get into any marital strife, he asked her to wait while he went into the house to confer with Mary, his wife. They talked much about the Rightness and Wrongness of it. It was hard to make the decision but finally his wife agreed, on one condition. In a few minutes he returned. "T'would be me pleasure to paint yer portrait, missus," he said "The wife says it's okay. "I'll paint you in the nude all right; but I have to at least leave me socks on, so I have a place to wipe me brushes." Quote Link to comment
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