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Bitchin'est CL ad

Z-train

By Z-train
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Z-train Rookie

Z-train

Posted
Posted

http://fredericksburg.craigslist.org/cto/1539179230.html

 

 

Here's the text in case it gets pulled:

 

 

1999 Ford Escort ZX2 - $350 (Up your ass)

 

 

 

 

This vehicle is no longer for sale to any VA residents as some of you suck and are the most arrogant/stupid people I have ever encountered. I cannot believe the amount of stupidity I have heard over this ad in the last three days. THIS IS A $350 CAR!!!!!! The ad states clearly, and shows VERY clearly that the car needs work to be put back on the road. Anyone who cannot understand this, need not respond to this ad. The best part is, some fool wanted to buy it for $350 on the condition that I repair it and have it inspected. You sir/ma'am are obviously on crack. If I had done that, the price would be more than $1200. I also stated a price, and said that it was firm. One asshole emailed me a trade for "Hooker super competition 1-3/4" primaries". First of all, what the fuck are they for? and What the fuck would I do with a set of $100 headers. Get lost moron. Email me with another fucking stupid trade again and I'll murder you. Also, to the ass clowns who scheduled time to view the car and never showed, you are all a bunch of fucking idiots. I have a busy schedule as it is and you don't show?Good job dick head. What about the guy who called on Monday, got my address and called on Friday, woke me up early in the morning and said you were 15 minutes away and then never showed up? Fuck you. I dare you to show up, I'll run you over with this fucking car. One more fucking thing, The last fucking sentence in this god damn ad says something to the effect of "If you call or email me to solicit anything other than to buy this car, I cannot guarantee what will happen afterward. I DO NOT NEED HELP SELLING MY CAR!!!!!!!!". Now why on earth would someone send me a reply to help me sell my car? Can you read? Would you like me to help you read? I help with a baseball bat, usually up side your stupid fucking head. I also love how the first person who responded offered me $100. I'll bet you are still waiting my response. Continue to wait, I'll get back to you... Fucking moron. If I wanted $100 for it, I would have said "the price in $100". Your stupid low ball offer is fucked and you are a dip shit. Most people would take that as an offense. Like you are thinking that you are better than, or smarter than said person. You proved to me that you are nothing but god damn numb nut, hillbilly, redneck fucktard. I could part that car for $1000.

 

I could go on and on with this. Get your shit together VA, or at least get your heads out of your asses. You are not royalty, the world does not revolve around you, your shit is not gold, Va is not the best state in the union (in my opinion, it's at the bottom of the list) and finally, you are not smarter than the next guy.

 

To those who had shown legitimate interest, I'm sorry to disappoint you, none of my rant is aimed towards you and thank you for your interest. Once again, I'm sorry.

 

 

1999 Escblah blah blah blah, blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah, blah blah. blah blah blah 1234 123. 1.2 blah blah. Blah blah blah blah, blah blah. Blah blah blah blah, blah blah. Blah blah blah blah, blah blah. Blah blah blah blah, blah blah. Blah blah blah blah, blah blah. Blah blah blah blah, blah blah. Blah blah blah blah, blah blah. Blah blah blah blah, blah blah. Blah blah blah blah, blah blah.

 

To be put back on the road it would need the following:

 

1. No dumb asses calling me with ridiculous trades

2. Header panel

3. No stupid fucking fake "wanna see it" attempts

4. Windshield

5. Parking brake cable

6. Battery

7. Radio

 

Now, for the good. I have replaced a ton of parts on this car about 500 miles before the accident, including;

 

1. Front rotors

2. Front calipers

3. Front brake pads (with lifetime replacement reciept from NAPA)

4. Front brake hardware

5. Rear brake drums

6. Rear brake wheel cylinders

7. Rear brake shoes

8. Rear brake hardware

9. Shifter bushings

10. Spark plugs

11. Plug wires

12. K&N air filter

13. Brand new Goodyear tires (not even 200 miles on them)

14. New trans fluid, brake fluid and coolant (Mercon V synthetic and brake fluid done less than 300 miles ago)

 

Look at all of that shit, and I had receipts too.

 

The price is $350, firm. No trades.....

 

Call: Jesus fucking christ I hate this place. @ X2X-XX0-4XXX

 

If you call or email me to solicit anything other than to buy this car, I cannot guarantee what will happen afterward. I DO NOT NEED HELP SELLING MY CAR!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

:thumbup:

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1Low620 Newbie

1Low620

Posted
Posted

what drives me up the wall on any of the ads I place is I'll put something like "CAR CAN NOT BE DRIVEN" and one of the first things asked is.. Can I drive it?

 

Haha so fucking true, I had a guy come look at my 620 for sale, thought he was getting a 30k benz or bmw for $400. Then, he had the balls to ask me if it was drivable to cali even though my add clearly states the CARB is bad and it needs brakes :D

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Guest 510kamikazifreak

Guest 510kamikazifreak

Posted
Posted

Haha so fucking true, I had a guy come look at my 620 for sale, thought he was getting a 30k benz or bmw for $400. Then, he had the balls to ask me if it was drivable to cali even though my add clearly states the CARB is bad and it needs brakes :D

 

 

Gotta like that type :blink:

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bob72gts Newbie

bob72gts

Posted
Posted

This is an ad that I had on CL. I love CL, but most people suck

 

 

 

standard cab long bed

runs and drives good 400M / C6 auto trans / power steering / power brakes / dual fuel tanks

door panels have been replaced with new aftermarket in original design (black)

seat has been recovered vinyl and cloth (black) but has a small wear hole on driver side about the size of a cigarette burn

tires are in good shape 285/75/16 on rear 265/75/16 on front all on stock steel wheels

H.E.I. conversion distributor eliminates the unreliable stock wiring and module

newer alternator / voltage regulator / fuel pump (autozone with warranties)

Engine was rebuilt 5-6 years ago by a previous owner trans shifts well and has probably been rebuilt also

This truck has been my tow/haul vehicle for the past 2 years I am only selling it because I recently bought a 79 f250 extended cab for the interior space.

On a recent trip to phoenix I had 700lbs in the bed and a 1500lb car trailer behind it I got 10mpg at 70+mph. Coming back on same trip I had 400lbs in bed the same trailer + a 92 Tbird (3800lbs)I got 9mpg at 65-70mph

Cab and front end are all straight and rust free the bed has some dents and is rust free

Overall this truck is in much better than average condition for a 32 year old work truck

Bob 928-4xx-9xxx

may consider PART trade with half cash

UPDATE: Sunday a couple from Kingman came down looked at the truck for about 30 minutes decided to buy it and we negotiated a deal. On Monday they came back to pay for it and to pick it up. While I was digging the title out of my files the man noticed the crack in the windshield(it is a vertical crack about 3" to the right of center and looks like it has been that way for about 10+years). He then says to a friend of mine something about I should have told him there was a crack in the windshield like it was my fault he didn't see it. By the time I got back with the title they had left to go get a cup of coffee and to "think about it". So............THIS IS A 32 YEAR OLD WORK TRUCK. THE WINDSHIELD HAS A CRACK IN IT FROM TOP TO BOTTOM ABOUT 3" TO THE RIGHT OF CENTER. MYSELF AND THE PREVIOUS OWNERS HAVE DRIVEN THIS TRUCK WITH THE CRACKED WINDSHIELD FOR A LONG TIME. IT DOES NOT INTERFERE WITH YOUR VISION. IF IT BOTHERS YOU THAT MUCH I CAN HAVE IT REPLACED THROUGH MY INSURANCE COMPANY BUT THE PRICE WILL GO UP. Whew now that that is over if any one would like to come take a look at it feel free to call. Just don't whine about how I didn't tell you the windshield was cracked. If you want I can put the truck up on the rack so you can look under it or even pull the wheels and look at the brakes. I am not trying and don't need to hide anything about this truck.

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freaky510 Newbie

freaky510

Posted
Posted

heres 1 my mom found

 

 

AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD

 

 

 

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in

Downtown Savannah night before last.

 

 

 

Date: 2009-05-27, 1 :43 a.m. E.S.T.

 

 

 

I was the guy wearing the

black Burberry jacket that you demanded

that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife

on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You

also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I

can only hope that you somehow come across this

rather important message.

 

 

 

First, I'd like to apologize for

your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually

crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you

took my jacket.. The even ing was not that cold, and

I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. My girlfriend

had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45

ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a

shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously

you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when

pointed at your head ... isn't it?!

 

 

 

I know it probably wasn't fun

walking back to wherever you'd come from with that

brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even

worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your

shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That

prevented you from calling or running to your buddies

to come help mug us again].

 

 

 

After I called your mother or

"Momma" as you had her listed in your cell,

I explained the entire episode of what you'd done.

Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as

those of four other people in the gas station, -- on

your credit card. The guy with the big motor home

took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!

 

 

 

I gave your shoes to a homeless

guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the

cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

 

 

 

I then threw your wallet into the

big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at

the curb ... after I broke the windshield and side

window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.

 

 

 

Later, I called a bunch of phone

sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now

shut down the line, although I only used the phone

for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with

that? Earlier, I managed to get in

two threatening phone calls to the DA's

office and one to the FBI, while mentioning

President Obama as my possible target.

 

 

 

The FBI guy seemed really intense

and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced

your number etc.).

 

 

 

 

;In a way, perhaps I

should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel

this type of retribution is a far more appropriate

punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well

as you try to sort through some of these rather

immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you

have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps

reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue

in life. Remember, next time you might not be so

lucky.Have a good day!

 

 

 

Thoughtfully yours,

 

 

 

Alex

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Skib Grand Master

Skib

Posted
Posted

I got a good lol out of this one.... :rofl:

 

 

 

to the beautiful lady who saw me pooping:

 

Me: Taking a huge poop in the l5p pizza bathroom.

 

You: Drunk, beautiful, Discovered that I forgot to lock the door in my haste.

 

Look, I know it must have been awkward for you to see me in that state, and especially since it didnt seem to bother me that you walked in. We made eye contact for a brief moment, you have the most beautiful brown eyes (no pun intended). I said "hey beautiful lady" right as you slammed the door, and i meant it. Everyone poops, and now that you have seen me pooping, I feel like we have already moved our relationship to a higher level. If you read this, and feel the same way, respond... I hope the smell didnt offend you, I ate indian food for lunch..

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