When you call your ISP tech support

[FoxyRoadster]

I'm not really pointing this at anyone here but this is just a bit of a rant about people I deal with daily..

 

First off, being on the phone the golden rule applies remember this. Normally I do care about your problem even if I don't sound like it, otherwise I'd have just hung up on your ass. I get paid regardless of if you have service or not and threatening me with canceling the service isn't going to help you, it will just get you an "I'm sorry you feel that way, but you'll have to talk to these people to cancel." Not saying you have to treat the person on the phone like a god.. Just remember they are human too, easier you make things for you the less time you'll spend on the phone and might even get your issue resolved.

 

Things not to say to the support rep:

 

"It don't work!" instead explain more detail about what is going on "I'm unable to pull up websites, email, exc.." Not saying read a novel, but the more details on the problem the better.

 

If you have power cycled the equipment (turned off and on) and they ask you to do it again just do it. Not always will a power cycle fix the issue on the first go, least give it one more for just the hell of it and allow the support rep to check what they need to as well.

 

Don't argue with them, normally support reps have requirements they have to fill before a repair tech can be dispatched.. Even if you think its wrong don't tell them it is and try to force what you think is correct. Most support reps will note what you think might be the issue as input is normally welcome and might even help the issue get repaired.

 

Know what speed your internet is suppose to be so when you claim its running slow you can be 100% sure its the speed and not your computer being a turd from being overloaded with shitty programs and adware.

 

Facebook is *NOT* the internet and I do not have your password for it, go bother facebook.

 

I will not help you clear your browsing history. If you look at your porno and need to hide it maybe you shouldnt be looking at it, eh?

 

Defragging your computer is pointless overall for an internet issue.

 

I don't need you to announce you are "computer illiterate", "computer stupid", or "know nothing about computers" unless you really are illiterate that shouldn't be an issue, just shut up and follow instructions and read the screen

 

I understand you are paying for a service, I'm here to help get it fixed don't complain at me because its not working 100% and that you want a refund. I'll help you get the issue resolved, If you think you need to be compensated talk to billing as I'm not the one who handles your money. Plus read the terms of service you twit, it clearly states that we're not responsible if service is a fail. Deal with it.

 

Don't be surprised if service is canceled because you had to download "Cum guzzler 5" and seed it for a month and wonder why I'm laughing about it over the phone. If you pirate the justin bieber movie just be happy we halted your service and I didn't come burn your house down personally.

 

Its totally cool to me to set your passwords as vulgar jokes, I like being able to say fuck over the phone.

 

General chit chat is cool and all but don't ask me how my day is going, if I'm talking to you its most likely shit.

 

 

I could keep going but I'm sure everyone gets the idea. Calling your tech support can be short, sweet, and get your shit fixed or hell. It is just all in how you treat the service rep and explain the problem.

[Shagy]

why would their service be cancled for Down loading Cum guzzer 5?

 

I just hate calling india...

[FoxyRoadster]

why would their service be cancled for Down loading Cum guzzer 5?

 

I just hate calling india...

 

 

Keep the ISP from being involved with a lawsuit from the company that owns it. They normally won't go after a customer if their service is canceled.

 

I'm not from India, speak with a southern draw but get treated the same as they do really.

[Shagy]

I know your not from there..just seems like everytime I call in, thats where I"m calling.

 

Pirating..gotcha...

[Dirk Diggler]

All of that applies, except to Charter Communications. Fuck Charter Communications, they can all suck a dick.

[thisismatt]

Charter does suck balls. Cox is just as bad.

 

Thanks to adblock for allowing me to block annoying animated gifs while I'm trying to read stuff.

[izzo]

All of that applies, except to Charter Communications. Fuck Charter Communications, they can all suck a dick.

 

 

I agree, fuck charter. Nothing but a bunch of idiots. I've had so many issues with them, dunno where to start. guess i'd better not. Oh btw, fuck charter

[pharouh]

There's a Cum Guzzler 5? I haven't seen 3 yet. :blink: :D

[Laecaon]

Only time I have ever needed to call my ISP:

 

Tech: what seems to be the problem today?

 

Me: Im trying to use a different router, but it is not getting an IP address. Could you please release my MAC address so my new router can connect?

 

Tech: Have you tried a restart?

 

Me: Yes, about 10 times actually, and this is why I am calling.

 

Tech: Ok this will take about 10 minutes

 

Me: Fine with me, only way to get the internet back up.

 

...

 

Tech: you can restart your router now, do you know how?

 

Me: already doing it. Oh look at that I have internet again, K THX BYE!

 

 

 

 

Or like the time I talked to dell: I need a new keyboard and a new LCD screen.

 

They perform tests for 3 hours on my computer. Results: They replace the keyboard and LCD.

 

Every single time I have ever called support, I got what I wanted, because by the time I had done so, everything was out of my hands.

 

Oh and I have NEVER heard of a cable ISP having good customer service. I like my FIOS with 25MBPS download and 15MBPS up. And it does not get slower if every single neighbor is on.

[Dirk Diggler]

I agree, fuck charter. Nothing but a bunch of idiots. I've had so many issues with them, dunno where to start. guess i'd better not. Oh btw, fuck charter

Those pricks billed me my first months bill for 8 months when I paid it directly to the tech who installed my cable the day it was installed. I faxed then copies of the receipt for 4 months and they said they would take care of it every time. They even reported me to collections even though I bed paid it and proved I paid it! They never took it off my account or did anything to help so I cancelled. But not before I took the inline filter off my tv cable for a few months. I was paying for 6 channels but getting 72 :fu:

[albyneau]

I'm not really pointing this at anyone here but this is just a bit of a rant about people I deal with daily..

 

First off, being on the phone the golden rule applies remember this. Normally I do care about your problem even if I don't sound like it, otherwise I'd have just hung up on your ass. I get paid regardless of if you have service or not and threatening me with canceling the service isn't going to help you, it will just get you an "I'm sorry you feel that way, but you'll have to talk to these people to cancel." Not saying you have to treat the person on the phone like a god.. Just remember they are human too, easier you make things for you the less time you'll spend on the phone and might even get your issue resolved.

 

Things not to say to the support rep:

 

"It don't work!" instead explain more detail about what is going on "I'm unable to pull up websites, email, exc.." Not saying read a novel, but the more details on the problem the better.

 

If you have power cycled the equipment (turned off and on) and they ask you to do it again just do it. Not always will a power cycle fix the issue on the first go, least give it one more for just the hell of it and allow the support rep to check what they need to as well.

 

Don't argue with them, normally support reps have requirements they have to fill before a repair tech can be dispatched.. Even if you think its wrong don't tell them it is and try to force what you think is correct. Most support reps will note what you think might be the issue as input is normally welcome and might even help the issue get repaired.

 

Know what speed your internet is suppose to be so when you claim its running slow you can be 100% sure its the speed and not your computer being a turd from being overloaded with shitty programs and adware.

 

Facebook is *NOT* the internet and I do not have your password for it, go bother facebook.

 

I will not help you clear your browsing history. If you look at your porno and need to hide it maybe you shouldnt be looking at it, eh?

 

Defragging your computer is pointless overall for an internet issue.

 

I don't need you to announce you are "computer illiterate", "computer stupid", or "know nothing about computers" unless you really are illiterate that shouldn't be an issue, just shut up and follow instructions and read the screen

 

I understand you are paying for a service, I'm here to help get it fixed don't complain at me because its not working 100% and that you want a refund. I'll help you get the issue resolved, If you think you need to be compensated talk to billing as I'm not the one who handles your money. Plus read the terms of service you twit, it clearly states that we're not responsible if service is a fail. Deal with it.

 

Don't be surprised if service is canceled because you had to download "Cum guzzler 5" and seed it for a month and wonder why I'm laughing about it over the phone. If you pirate the justin bieber movie just be happy we halted your service and I didn't come burn your house down personally.

 

Its totally cool to me to set your passwords as vulgar jokes, I like being able to say fuck over the phone.

 

General chit chat is cool and all but don't ask me how my day is going, if I'm talking to you its most likely shit.

 

 

I could keep going but I'm sure everyone gets the idea. Calling your tech support can be short, sweet, and get your shit fixed or hell. It is just all in how you treat the service rep and explain the problem.

 

I've been workin w/ computers since the only color you could get was monitor green or gold. I will NOT expound on the virtues/vexes of customer support. That would take me hours to type, you wouldn't like what I had to say, and were I to have "your ear" you'd probably only half listen. You/your associates have been programmed to invoke specific responses to questions, reading from a cheat-sheet and sounding like a robot. What~ you don't do that? I seriously doubt you'd "hang up on my ass" or you wouldn't have a job. That makes you the one in a million exception to the rule. Do you *really* empathize with the caller? By your own statement it really doesn't sound like it~ "if I'm talking to you its most likely shit." It really sounds like you're not happy in your job~ have you considered moving on to other things? If you really wish to make a difference in this world~ no matter what your calling~ it WILL depend on how you treat the people you deal with on a daily basis.

 

So you can hate me for callin a spade a spade if you wish~ or you can decide to make a difference in the lives of the people you meet! It's all a matter of perspective.... Good or bad~ how do you want to pay it forward....?

 

"Nothing's good, nor bad, except what thinking makes it so." William Shakespeare

Scott

[Gary]

youve gotta be feelin it from both sides though

 

on one hand, customer who just wants his service, typically confused by anything remotely technical, mildly upset that shit doesnt just work, and theyre paying for a service that isnt working

 

on the other, a chap on the other side of the phone, dealing with morons all day every day, fairly jaded about the whole situation, tends to apply the same conclusion to all callers, and is just following protocol by going through the questions and processes to fix the problem

 

then all of a sudden someone with a clue calls up, and is treated the same as the rest of the idiots simply cos the tech is mind numbingly bored - its nothing personal im sure. youve gotta see it from the tech's side of things - just cos a customer says he needs a new whatever doesnt mean he actually does. remember the tech is just going through the process he has to to make sure a problem is fixed. the customer might be right, but is usually wrong, which is why theyre calling in the first place - thats mainly what the process is for, to prevent fixing the wrong thing and making the customers life twice as annoying and the companies life twice as expensive (for example)

 

if a customer spent 6 months in the shoes of a tech, the customer would get the picture

if a tech spent 6 months in the shoes of a customer (perhaps having a problem with a service they're not familiar with), the tech would get the idea

 

less hate, more love for one another. just be easy, whats hating people ever actually done for anyone? other than make them mad and kinda depressed?

[Rhapakatui]

whats hating people ever actually done for anyone? other than make them mad and kinda depressed?

[FoxyRoadster]

I've been workin w/ computers since the only color you could get was monitor green or gold. I will NOT expound on the virtues/vexes of customer support. That would take me hours to type, you wouldn't like what I had to say, and were I to have "your ear" you'd probably only half listen. You/your associates have been programmed to invoke specific responses to questions, reading from a cheat-sheet and sounding like a robot. What~ you don't do that? I seriously doubt you'd "hang up on my ass" or you wouldn't have a job. That makes you the one in a million exception to the rule. Do you *really* empathize with the caller? By your own statement it really doesn't sound like it~ "if I'm talking to you its most likely shit." It really sounds like you're not happy in your job~ have you considered moving on to other things? If you really wish to make a difference in this world~ no matter what your calling~ it WILL depend on how you treat the people you deal with on a daily basis.

 

So you can hate me for callin a spade a spade if you wish~ or you can decide to make a difference in the lives of the people you meet! It's all a matter of perspective.... Good or bad~ how do you want to pay it forward....?

 

"Nothing's good, nor bad, except what thinking makes it so." William Shakespeare

Scott

 

 

Well if you started your call off like this post no offense but you'd be like some of the people I've dealt with.

[remotezygote]

This is a flame war waiting to happen, so what the hell, here's some gasoline: I started out selling and fixing computers and dealing with this sort of thing (many many years ago), and I realized later, in hind sight, that yes, many or even most of the people I had to deal with were not knowledgable and/or pleasant people to deal with, and because of this, I tended to treat everyone as if they were a pain in my ass. It's just natural to do this. It's also very wrong. Now I am a professional software designer with a long history of network security, programming, hardware design, etc. experience, and I realize why some of the people I dealt with hated me. I treated them like an idiot when they very likely knew way more about my job than I did. This is how I am treated today, and it pisses me off to no end. You have no way of knowing right off the bat whether I am an idiot or a genius, but if I say something intelligent, take it as a sign - some people do know what they're talking about.

 

I will also say this: these guys are not put in the best position by their companies to really provide good customer service (generally). The software they have to deal with is complete shit and makes their lives hell every single day. The corporate crap they have to deal with makes their lives hell every single day. There's also a lot of assholes out there and they have to deal with them just before they get on the phone with you. It's not always a great position to be in, but it's something that needs done.

 

My advice:

Customers, lighten up and be patient. Thank these people for dealing with the people who are assholes.

Customer Service people, understand that people will be pissed at you no matter what you do, but embrace the people who will be patient and pleasant with you.

 

JB

[FoxyRoadster]

This is a flame war waiting to happen, so what the hell, here's some gasoline: I started out selling and fixing computers and dealing with this sort of thing (many many years ago), and I realized later, in hind sight, that yes, many or even most of the people I had to deal with were not knowledgable and/or pleasant people to deal with, and because of this, I tended to treat everyone as if they were a pain in my ass. It's just natural to do this. It's also very wrong. Now I am a professional software designer with a long history of network security, programming, hardware design, etc. experience, and I realize why some of the people I dealt with hated me. I treated them like an idiot when they very likely knew way more about my job than I did. This is how I am treated today, and it pisses me off to no end. You have no way of knowing right off the bat whether I am an idiot or a genius, but if I say something intelligent, take it as a sign - some people do know what they're talking about.

 

I will also say this: these guys are not put in the best position by their companies to really provide good customer service (generally). The software they have to deal with is complete shit and makes their lives hell every single day. The corporate crap they have to deal with makes their lives hell every single day. There's also a lot of assholes out there and they have to deal with them just before they get on the phone with you. It's not always a great position to be in, but it's something that needs done.

 

My advice:

Customers, lighten up and be patient. Thank these people for dealing with the people who are assholes.

Customer Service people, understand that people will be pissed at you no matter what you do, but embrace the people who will be patient and pleasant with you.

 

JB

 

 

Now don't get me wrong, I get plenty of good customers that they call in have the information they need, explain the problem out, do the diagnosing and then either the internet works or its dispatched to further repair. It is just so many people assume because they pay for a service they can be completely ignorant and treat anyone like trash because "I pay for this service!" or just completely ignore the tech they called for help.

[Skib]

I generally dislike people... :mellow:

 

because generally, they are almost intentionally ignorant, self entitled, self absorbed, and sometimes flat of fucking dumb.

 

 

Im going to treat you the way you act.

 

if you act like an almost intentionally ignorant self entitled cunt..... your going to get treated like one.

 

if you dont act like an almost intentionally ignorant self entitled cunt..... your not going to get treated like one.

 

 

(also note that being generally uninformed and almost intentionally ignorant are two very different behaviors)

[Shonuff]

Hi there,

 

I'm the tier 2 hard ware tech support that phone support dispatched due to your failure to understand what "turn it off, wait 5 seconds, and turn it back on" means. I understand that usually you kick the hardware and it comes back up, like we have documented for the last year and 30+ calls. But please try to understand that nothing likes to be kicked and now you have broke it. Yet you still are telling me that kicking it isn't working anymore. I really would like to inform you that the hardware is just slow and your a douche for not noticing that kicking wasn't helping, ever. But instead I'm going to pretend to care about your sob story of your slacker job for a cheap ass shitty company and the 30 hrs your stuck kicking the hardware I'm forced to fix with bubble gum and zipties. But this is hr 62 for me and it's only Thursday and my day jus started. I regret I can't inform you that I'm putting in my notes verbatim what you have said along with your name, which will be included with the bill to your shitty boss. So please shut up and get out of my way, I need to pick up the pieces of the shit you broke so I can get the core on it. Also if you would stop trying to tell me how to fix shit here that would help, your boss pays me very good money to show up and fix shit. If you could fix it like you say I wouldn't be here.

 

 

Wow that feels better

[Hardwyre]

Oh the stories I hear from my buddy who works down at some IPS in Canby. :)

 

I'll get text messages like "PEOPLE SHOULD BE REQUIRE A LICENSE TO OWN A COMPUTER!!! F*$#)*$)(*$#!"

[Z chopper]

I worked as customer support for an ISP and from that point of view, I have learned that for 2 in 5 people it should be illegal for them to own a computer, 1 in 5 don't know that a computer needs to be plugged in for it to turn on. 1 in 5 don't realize they need to have internet access to access the internet. What that means is that only 20% of the populationn actually have enough brain power to know what a computer is, how to turn it on and how to access the internet ofcourse the ISP call centre I worked for only dealt with American customers in certain areas of the states.