Daily Randomness.........Back to Randomness........................................

[smoke]

Oh...I know the type all too well. My gal apparently can't even find the source of steam coming from anything, she is also under the impression that everything I do is very easy and a total rebuild should take around 2 hours and be 17 bucks. I am not asking her to fall at my feet in amazement of my engine skills or anything, but I'm pretty sure she thinks a howler monkey with a mallet could do any of it and is quick to pawn off her pet howler money with said mallet to any friend of hers that has zero income to lay in their gravel driveway and replace their transmission. I have put a stop to this by asking for money when I am through. Like when they say "wow, thanks, what do I owe you?" But they are expecting me to say "oh forget it"...I instead say "500 should cover it" and have a very straight face. By the way, 500 would be pretty fuckin cheap for some of this work. 

[MicroMachinery]

I like the dipshit that thinks just because you know cars you work on them for free.

Hey man can you change this tranny for me? I will buy a 6 pack of coors light.

That's why I tell everyone I'm a gynecologist.

[smoke]

That's why I tell everyone I'm a gynecologist.

Fuck....GENIUS right there.

[MicroMachinery]

60% of the time, it works every time.

[smoke]

To shove your face in her friends crotch AND get a 6 pack for it? 60% is a good success rate.

[Rocket Dog]

My lady doesn't cook or drive. She lets me watch porn and smoke weed in return.

Truly the basis for a long lasting, loving relationship.  Well done sir.

[MicroMachinery]

To shove your face in her friends crotch AND get a 6 pack for it? 60% is a good success rate.

2% would be above average.

[RatVonDude]

Never tell anyone you own a pick up, if you do let em know the last piano you helped moved ended up in the freeway offramp and killed its owner who was following to close.

[hobospyder]

people know i own a pickup, nobody asks me for help they actually wait for me to offer. but it's that way with most things in my life. 

 

i think the last time someone actually asked me to help move stuff around i had a couch and an oversized chair stacked in the back of my s10 about twice the height of the truck, rolling down the street, had a nice 3 car bubble in any direction around my truck, my friend and i were laughing our asses off the entire drive

[RatVonDude]

I remember driving back from a job in Tahoe in an s10, we got over this hill and there was this massive pink doll house just sitting there upright in the fast lane, nail it going 80, fucking thing just disintegrated. Almost pissed myself.

[hobospyder]

almost ran into a deer on my way back from montana one time, saw it off in the distance and i had started slowing down because i didn't know what it was. debated slapping it on the ass as i passed it. 

[Rhapakatui]

A guy I used to work with once hit a deer on the way to work. I passed him on the side of the road picking up pieces of F150. When he finally made it to work he asked why I didn't stop. I said there was another truck pulled over helping already. Turns out, the other truck was just there to cut meat off of the deer.

 

A couple weeks later, I hit a deer on the way home. I came into work the next day and told him karma got me. His F150 had no front bumper and trailer blinkers ziptied to the frame. My frontier had a softball sized dent int the bumper.

[q-tip]

Girlfriends dad used to drive truck for a not to be named food distributor. When the guys had empty trailers that they were hauling they would swerve with a quick jerk and swing the retailer out into whatever unlucky animal was in the road. I think he said company record was 4 deer with one swing and something like 10 in a single trip

[JoeCool]

About the women knowing nothing about cars... not always true! I know two who are very knowledgeable. One woman was a diesel tech at the Ford dealer I worked at. Another is a regular customer at the Autozone I work at now who races a stock car at the local paved 1/2 mile oval every Friday night. And no, they ARE NOT ugly butch lesbians! Both are actually very pretty.

 

But it's generally ACCEPTABLE for women to know nothing about cars, what gets me is the amount of MEN who are complete morons when it comes to their car.

[RatVonDude]

I always wonder about that shovel state road workers carry, Deer guts. Rented a 24 foot international stake bed truck today, that thing was such a lame ride, no power at all could barely make it up the hill, gearing is completely annoying too, I really like the Mitsubishi's but they don't have them that big. I can't believe anyone can walk in and rent a 24 footer, took out a few shrubs with that buddy, no deer tho.

[datzenmike]

Hey, it's all relative. A brain surgeon would laugh at our attempts to describe a problem between the ears. Not all men know things a woman takes for granted. Some men can cook, some women can weld.

[smoke]

None cut shut up when I'm watching a movie.

[RatVonDude]

One of the best stone carvers I know is female, she's not buff and doesn't do hippy dippy garden art. German cathedral mason, they won't let just anyone do that shit, Germans have the toughest apprenticeship programs in the world, 90% of them are booted with in the first year.

[bananahamuck]

Brain doctors are very overrated ,, they can pretty much say "i don't know" to every question and get away with it.

 

Will one surgery be enough?   Well we won't know till after the first surgery"

Will this surgery help?    Well,, we don't really know"

Can it cause paralysis    Well ,, there's no real way to tell"

Will it kill my son?          Well,,,, we don't really know"

 

 

Trust me try that with any other occupation ,, with EVERY customer.

[Ranman72]

my wife once told a neighbor that I could probably replace the clutch in her ford taurus, I asked her do you have any idea how hard or the time it will take 

she replied no so I told her to ask the lady what the shop was going to charge her and then tell her I would cost 100 more then that price 

[smoke]

Brain doctors are very overrated ,, they can pretty much say "i don't know" to every question and get away with it.

 

Will one surgery be enough?   Well we won't know till after the first surgery"

Will this surgery help?    Well,, we don't really know"

Can it cause paralysis    Well ,, there's no real way to tell"

Will it kill my son?          Well,,,, we don't really know"

 

 

Trust me try that with any other occupation ,, with EVERY customer.

i would like to have a job where my standard answer could be "pffft, maybe".

[bananahamuck]

i would like to have a job where my standard answer could be "pffft, maybe".

 

 

Seattle Mariners players

[smoke]

Meh, too much running around.

[JoeCool]

i would like to have a job where my standard answer could be "pffft, maybe".

 

AND still get paid the full amount for my work!

[RatVonDude]

i would like to have a job where my standard answer could be "pffft, maybe".

security staff at any night club