Jump to content

How to Speak Womanese!

Recommended Posts

At last...someone in this world has done some very valad and valuable research into the human condition!


Dictionary For Women's Personal Ads


40-ish: 49

Adventurous: Slept with everyone

Athletic: No Tits

Average Looking: Ugly

Beautifull: Pathological Liar

Contagous Smile: Does Lots of Pills

Emotionally Secure: On Medication

Femenist: Fat

Free Spirit: Junkie

Friendship First: Formerly Very "Friendly" Person

Fun: Annoying

New Age: Body Hair in Wrong Places

Open-Minded: Desperate

Outgoing: Loud and Embarrassing

Passionate: Sloppy Drunk

Professional: Bitch

Voluptious: Very Fat

Large Frame: Hugely Fat

Wants Soul Mate: Stalker


Womens English


Yes: No

No: Yes

Maby: No

We Need: I Want

I Am Sorry: You'll Be Sorry

We Need To Talk: Your in Trouble

Sure, Go Ahead: You Better Not

Do What You Want: You Will Pay For This Later

I'm Not Upset: Of Cource Im Upset, You Moron!

Your Very Attentive Tonight: Is Sex All You Ever Think About


Mens English


I Am Hungry: I Am Hungry

I Am Sleepy: I Am Sleepy

I Am Tired: I Am Tired

Nice Dress: Nice Cleavage!

I Love You: Lets Have Sex Now

I Am Bored: Do You Want To Have Sex?

May I Have This Dance: I'd Like To Have Sex With You

Can I Call You Sometime: I'd Like To Have Sex With You

Do You Want To Go To A Movie: I'd Like To Have Sex With You

Can I Take You Out To Dinner: I'd Like To Have Sex With You

Those Shoes Dont Go With That Outfit: Im Gay


And Finally


Another recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in thier menstrual cycle!

For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features. However when she is mensturating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire.

Link to comment
  • Replies 17
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

This is just some of the reasons why I love my Datsun:


1) It waits patiently for me to drive it.

2) It doesn't get all pissy if I drive another car

3) It never has a headache...

4) On cold mornings it never rolls over once and refuses to start.

5) It doesn't have in-laws but does have cute cousins.

6) It doesn't have hair in wrong places...

7) It doesn't care how much money I make...

8) It has a horny button.


Link to comment

My Datsuns would never make me stop typing a list of 10 things I like about them


Wait,,, ,, a woman wouldn't want me to stop typing a list of her good qualities either



My Datsuns don't take all my money, , , and continue to want more


Oh wait,,, ,, , Dammit

Link to comment

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.