I'm not really pointing this at anyone here but this is just a bit of a rant about people I deal with daily..
First off, being on the phone the golden rule applies remember this. Normally I do care about your problem even if I don't sound like it, otherwise I'd have just hung up on your ass. I get paid regardless of if you have service or not and threatening me with canceling the service isn't going to help you, it will just get you an "I'm sorry you feel that way, but you'll have to talk to these people to cancel." Not saying you have to treat the person on the phone like a god.. Just remember they are human too, easier you make things for you the less time you'll spend on the phone and might even get your issue resolved.
Things not to say to the support rep:
"It don't work!" instead explain more detail about what is going on "I'm unable to pull up websites, email, exc.." Not saying read a novel, but the more details on the problem the better.
If you have power cycled the equipment (turned off and on) and they ask you to do it again just do it. Not always will a power cycle fix the issue on the first go, least give it one more for just the hell of it and allow the support rep to check what they need to as well.
Don't argue with them, normally support reps have requirements they have to fill before a repair tech can be dispatched.. Even if you think its wrong don't tell them it is and try to force what you think is correct. Most support reps will note what you think might be the issue as input is normally welcome and might even help the issue get repaired.
Know what speed your internet is suppose to be so when you claim its running slow you can be 100% sure its the speed and not your computer being a turd from being overloaded with shitty programs and adware.
Facebook is *NOT* the internet and I do not have your password for it, go bother facebook.
I will not help you clear your browsing history. If you look at your porno and need to hide it maybe you shouldnt be looking at it, eh?
Defragging your computer is pointless overall for an internet issue.
I don't need you to announce you are "computer illiterate", "computer stupid", or "know nothing about computers" unless you really are illiterate that shouldn't be an issue, just shut up and follow instructions and read the screen
I understand you are paying for a service, I'm here to help get it fixed don't complain at me because its not working 100% and that you want a refund. I'll help you get the issue resolved, If you think you need to be compensated talk to billing as I'm not the one who handles your money. Plus read the terms of service you twit, it clearly states that we're not responsible if service is a fail. Deal with it.
Don't be surprised if service is canceled because you had to download "Cum guzzler 5" and seed it for a month and wonder why I'm laughing about it over the phone. If you pirate the justin bieber movie just be happy we halted your service and I didn't come burn your house down personally.
Its totally cool to me to set your passwords as vulgar jokes, I like being able to say fuck over the phone.
General chit chat is cool and all but don't ask me how my day is going, if I'm talking to you its most likely shit.
I could keep going but I'm sure everyone gets the idea. Calling your tech support can be short, sweet, and get your shit fixed or hell. It is just all in how you treat the service rep and explain the problem.