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Missouri Town Gets New Newspaper, The Uranus Examiner

 

URANUS, Mo. (AP) — Cue the giggling: A small Missouri town has a new newspaper called The Uranus Examiner.

KYTV reports that the newspaper's launch was announced Wednesday, just days after GateHouse Media said it was shuttering Pulaski County's local paper, the Daily Guide.

 

The new publication's editor, Natalie Sanders, led the Daily Guide before leaving in June to start what she calls a "fun" paper that will include local news and promote the tourist town of Uranus, which is pronounced the way any self-respecting class clown would say it.

 

Uranus sits along historic Route 66 and is known for quirky attractions, including a fudge shop and the world's largest belt buckle.

 

https://start.att.net/news/read/category/news/article/the_associated_press-missouri_town_gets_new_newspaper_the_uranus_examin-ap

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As usual a lot of feathers and not much chicken. Can't find any hard facts about Florence.. well other than from the 'news' who are full of shit (hype) anyway. Christ, there have been hurricanes on the Atlantic since the end of the last ice age but the news would have you believe they discovered them. Well milk it dry boys....

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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood.

 

She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. 

 

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" 

 

The blonde said "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials that she might need were in the garage. 

 

The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"

 

The man replied,"She should, she was standing on it." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. 

 

"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." 

 

Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. 

 

"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

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2 hours ago, datzenmike said:

As usual a lot of feathers and not much chicken. Can't find any hard facts about Florence.. well other than from the 'news' who are full of shit (hype) anyway. Christ, there have been hurricanes on the Atlantic since the end of the last ice age but the news would have you believe they discovered them. Well milk it dry boys....

 

Turns out you actually have to pluck the fucking bird to get to the chicken.

 

 

in the past 48 hours 23.04" of rain recorded in Morehead so far, more than 30 inches of rain in Swansboro North Carolina, and by Sunday they're expecting as much as 50" further South.

 

11 ft storm surge 

 

12 foot flooding in some areas and expected to be well past major flood stage (19 feet) from Sunday morning into at least Wednesday

 

Over 1 million evacuated and 1200 rescued so far.

 

7 killed so far

 

900,000 plus without power.

 

 

Although when it's all said and done, I'm sure you'll still mock the severity of the storm.
 

 

 

 

 

 

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Let's call it making a meal out of a snack then. I sure will mock the, "the sky is falling" news coverage but I guess there wasn't a mass shooting lately. 

 

 

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If it were a Datsun, that's a pricey paint job.   Even used the good porch paint.  

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When your Dad asks you to hold the flashlight in broad daylight so you'll stop trying to light the cat on fire.

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They should have just said it was their religious freedom to refuse serve cake... I mean tacos to people who mispronounce their prophets Jesus' name.  

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4 hours ago, a.d._510_n_ok said:

 

I usually have that problem at Jack in the Box.They repeat my order back and say "dos yumbo yacks" Fortunately they understand enough english to get it almost right.

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4 hours ago, a.d._510_n_ok said:

 

 

               I wonder if her boss fired her -

She probably replied that she couldn't

understand.

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8 hours ago, VFR800 said:

cjeL7Mj.jpg

 

                                  How'd you like to be in a restaurant with this guy at the next table,

with his back to you?

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