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Members with Autistic children.


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Any members have Autistic children or any on the spectrum?

 

How do you handle a total meltdown in public? 

 

I had an event today where my daughter melted down right in the doorway of a local general store. I heard a voice say "Handle your kid dude." when I looked up it seemed like the whole store was audience to my child having a sensory overload. Not to mention the rage I had from hearing those words...I couldn't pin point who said it.

 

I am going to lose it one day and beat the shit out of a person for sharing an off the cuff opinion about my kid having a melt down. 

 

To all the people who don't have a kid on the spectrum.. What may look like a bratty break down of a kid may not be a bratty kid. If you feel the urge to say something to the parent or comment aloud to your friend.....You better make it a comment of encouragement or you might meet the full landslide of a stressed spectrum child parent. 

 

Think before you speak. 

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That's fucked up, man. I don't know why people feel the need to run their mouths about others children, especially during any kind of meltdown. My daughter has em if she gets over tired or when she gets really hungry, I'd come unstuck on some cocksucker talking shit about her. It's hard to remain calm and be a good example. I once had to send my two year old inside with mom and baby to explain to some wannabe thug teens that yelling in my car window as we drove by, just because my month old daughter screamed, was likely to end up with a physical discussion with their father.

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I have had to temper my words before. I had a woman in walmart one isle over tell her friend she would "Spank that brat for yelling."  As I crossed over into the next isle I made eye contact and asked her if she really thought so. 

 

A kid might look normal outward but you never know if there is social inability. 

 

To all the parents and parents of spectrum kids. I relate to your stress and keep your chin up. 

 

Since Oregon is a mutual combat state I might dust off the skills and challenge these fuckers to the local cage for some percussion learning. 

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I also have child with that is on the spectrum. The meltdowns are mostly controlled now he is 14. I just wish people were more educated about autism and asbergers, so then they could understand that quirky little guy that just does weird things.

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I have two children with sensory issues.

 

My daughter-ADHD, ODD, and a gaggle of issues unable to label yet due to her age.

 

My son-autistic.

 

For the girl, a swift removal from area is needed. She blows up huge.

 

The boy, he's actually really mellow. Hand h an iPad when things are rough just to get past the moment.

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Some of the reaction is the perception that kids (the vast majority without problems) are spoiled brats of parents with no parenting skills whatever who themselves are the failed parenting experiments of the '80s. I don't know how true that is. All kids max out their parent's tolerance. They're kids.

 

Many a time I've come across a poor woman trying to cope with a child flipping out.  When close enough I say: 'Are you beating that kid up?" By-standers usually start grinning as does the mom, but from relief. Of course no one is being beaten and just asking this ridiculous question makes it humorous and that takes the edge off. Everyone sees it for what it is... a shared experience we have all probably had to deal with. Not the end of the world.

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27 years working on that one.Melt downs will always be difficult. They are scary for the child and the parent. Word to the wise, they don'the go away. Over time we have learned how to effectively communicate with our daughter. But we are all individuals, it took a lot of understanding and trial answer error to learn how to help.

 

Sadly what works for us I can guarantee won't work for others in the spectrum.

 

One thing we found is that when the child accepts themselves for who they are a whole new world opens up (a sunny one).

 

Your a good parent for hanging tough and protecting your child from those that don't understand.

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It was mentioned a few years ago that my son might have asbergers. We never had him formally diagnosed but he does have sensory issues from time to time. When he would "act out" in public, removing him from the area or situation worked the best. If it was a public place, taking him to the restroom and talking to him as calmly as I possibly could seemed to help.

 

Most of my sons stuff had to do with sensory things. Tags in his shirt, the seam in socks touching his toes, blankets touching him the wrong way, stuff like that. Getting him clothed for school used to take about 45 minutes. He has seemed to "grow out " of it for the most part, I still cut tags from his clothes and sometimes he has to run back & forth in the house to get his shoes "comfortable".

 

I'm not saying I have it bad (I know there's a lot of people that have it much worse) just know there's others out there too dealing with the same things.

 

Just take care of who you need to, everyone else can fuck off.

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My nephew is in the spectrum and we've all tried to make sure we do not treat him in a way that is unhealthy.

 

When he has meltdowns and my Mother is present she explains calmly to him that he's being silly (I maybe am not explaining this correct) but that does have some success,my sister has sat there and said calmly in similiar situations that he's he's being silly.

 

Mind you these two situations I am thinking of were also as equally like a tantrum cause it was over something not going his way and he's being a "brat" not meaning that in the negative manner as maybe "outsiders" would say of such a thing but rather with the knowledge he's both autistic but also a child who can just have a tantrum and act out.

 

But we do not tease him much if at all cause he is VERY literal with comments and can be set off if he thinks the comment will actually happen.

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Don't forget that kids are master manipulators too. They quickly learn that if they are somewhere or doing something they don't like or want to do, all they have to do is freak out and mommy and daddy will take them somewhere else. Get a diagnosis.

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Yeah, I get that and he's been in therapy groups and to the doctor (which is where I heard of asbergers for the first time). I didn't self diagnose by reading Google results. I'm not sure about where you guys are but down here if he's diagnosed as so, it would put him in a handicap/learning disability bracket. Something I don't want for him as his sensory issues we (me,wife and him) have learned to deal with and handle. I'm certain his isn't nearly as serious as most other people.

 

I understand kids can manipulate very well. I tell the wife all the time that he's playing her. I'm very good at picking up on that or the other. But when he gets in the car and has a complete meltdown from his stressful day at school and it's just me and him, I'm pretty damn sure it isn't for attention.

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That can't be easy. I have a friend with an autistic child. I also have a friend with a child that has asperger's. People are stupid and assume that just because a child looks ok that they must be spoiled. If they pay attention you can generally tell the difference between a child that is just a brat having a tantrum and a spectrum child having a meltdown. My friend with the autistic child had the cops called on him by neighbors once because his son was having a meltdown. Not much he could do but be calm and try to calm the boy. Cops came and started questioning his boy, who was only 5 at the time, and that freaked him out even more and they wouldn't let my friend get a word in edgewise and held him back from his boy. They were rather aggressive in their behavior and it was completely uncalled for. He was so pissed and rightly so. There does need to be more education especially with law enforcement that not all kids acting out are doing so because they are abused. They also need to take a minute and listen to the parent and get all the facts. That story had pissed me off. I felt bad for him.

 

I hope you do finally learn how to calm your daughter when she has a meltdown. That must be frustrating to not be able to help.

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