VFR800 Posted June 10, 2020 Report Share Posted June 10, 2020 A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One rainy day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway. 'Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's home early!' 'I can't jump out the window. It's raining out there!' 'If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!' she replied. 'He's got a hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your problems!' So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window! As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town's annual marathon, so he started running along beside the others, about 300 of them. Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could. After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer.. Do you always run in the nude?' one asked. 'Oh yes!' he replied, gasping in air. 'It feels so wonderfully free!' Another runner moved a long side. 'Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?' 'Oh, yes' our friend answered breathlessly. 'That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!' Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and asked, 'Do you always wear a condom when you run?' 'Nope ... just when it's raining!' 1 3 Quote Link to comment
thisismatt Posted June 13, 2020 Report Share Posted June 13, 2020 2 hours ago, BrothersGarage said: 1 3 Quote Link to comment
BrothersGarage Posted June 14, 2020 Report Share Posted June 14, 2020 4 hours ago, thisismatt said: 2 1 Quote Link to comment
VFR800 Posted June 18, 2020 Report Share Posted June 18, 2020 A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, "I almost had an affair with another woman."The priest asked, "What do you mean almost?"The Irishman said, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped."The priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put 50 Euro in the poor box."The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave.The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, "I saw that you didn't put any money in the poor box!"The Irishman replied, "Yeah, but I rubbed the 50 Euro on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in." 3 5 Quote Link to comment
thisismatt Posted June 23, 2020 Report Share Posted June 23, 2020 I though about picking this up, but decided my life sucked enough as it is... https://santabarbara.craigslist.org/zip/d/santa-barbara-dce-dalmatic-dust/7146214222.html 1 Quote Link to comment
Jesse C. Posted June 24, 2020 Report Share Posted June 24, 2020 31 minutes ago, VFR800 said: 3 Quote Link to comment
ratpatrol66 Posted June 24, 2020 Report Share Posted June 24, 2020 Jeffery Dalmer Quote Link to comment
datzenmike Posted June 24, 2020 Report Share Posted June 24, 2020 Ed Gein's lounge chair. Quote Link to comment
datzenmike Posted June 25, 2020 Report Share Posted June 25, 2020 Luke, why are there maple leafs on Boss Godfrey's flag???? 3 Quote Link to comment
VFR800 Posted June 26, 2020 Report Share Posted June 26, 2020 Canadian Battle Flag. A contradiction in terms. 1 Quote Link to comment
datzenmike Posted June 26, 2020 Report Share Posted June 26, 2020 I've never seen it before. 1 Quote Link to comment
Jesse C. Posted June 27, 2020 Report Share Posted June 27, 2020 On 6/23/2020 at 8:54 PM, datzenmike said: 3 Quote Link to comment
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