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Preparing for Ass-magedon!


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Lol! That's actually the camera. I'm not sure why there's a picture of that, I'm sure Jason can explain.

 

So I just got off the phone with mom, apparently like vicodin, I don't do well with verdsedt or other drugs. I apparently woke up about 5 times at the doctors office but couldn't really talk. So they asked if I needed a wheelchair and I said f that I don't need a wheelchair! So mom finally got me to hold on to her arm and we did the drunken sailor stumble to the elevators, then the 30 feet to the main entrance at which point I hurled in the parking lot. (Mom was laughing telling me this story) Then I figured I was good, so we got in the car and I hurled 5 more times on the way home. I do vaguely remember mom asking me if I wanted a milkshake to which I replied no, I didn't. Or something because I couldn't really talk well. And then I also remember cleaning off mom's car with a wet towel since I was worried about the finish. Streaks all down it from hanging my head out and puking. But at least I got it outside the car.

 

The doctor's office said mine was a rare reaction but as long as I wasn't bleeding or had a fever I'd be fine. Of course, he gave me two injections of whatever drugs, so for 10 minutes worth of ass play, that's quite a lot.

 

The actual procedure only took 10 minutes. No polyps, all clean. Apparently the only ass issues I've had are related to the hemorrhoids. So now I feel as though I've made a mountain out of a molehill, but oh well, at least I know. They don't need to see me back for 20 years. So unless something really nasty happens, I'm going to take that as never, because I'd rather not do this again.

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I don't want to be the bearer of bad news butt (<pun) since the Doctors didn't find any polyps, you will have to go back in about 10yrs to do it ALL over again. sorry :(

 

if they had found polyps then it's every 3 yrs. You lucked out. ;)

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colonshot.jpg

 

Huh. Damn fine job on the prep there Hoss! Unless your endoscopist ripped that scope out your ass like I whip table clothes out from under the plates and silverware, you're probably polyp/cancer free.

 

The picture in the lower right is called a "retroflex view". The end of the scope is bent around 180 degrees and looking back at the way its coming from. The purpose is to check the inside of your butthole for polyps and hemorrhoids that would otherwise be missed. Essentially its like twisting your next to look behind you as you back up and make sure the neighbor's retard of a kid isn't licking your bumper when the white lights come on.

 

*sigh* Fuck.. this is why I'm single isn't it?

 

"Hey baby, what do you do?"

 

"I GIVE PEOPLE DRUGS WHILE THEY HAVE THEIR POOP HOLES FILMED!!"

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Love the description of the post-sedation adventure as well. I had a patient who, when calling him the following day to see how he was doing, told me "I'm feeling great, but, any idea here the motorcycle came from?"

 

"....wait... what?"

 

Mother fucker went out and convinced his driver to take him to the Harley dealership to buy a motorcycle. Apparently he bought it without test driving it (thank god!) and they ended up just delivering it. Sounds like he got a really good deal too because the saleman was "wigged the fuck out because apparently I kept just staring and giggling at him randomly".

 

Dude did not remember JACK SHIT.

 

He kept the bike though. :)

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Huh. Damn fine job on the prep there Hoss! Unless your endoscopist ripped that scope out your ass like I whip table clothes out from under the plates and silverware, you're probably polyp/cancer free.

 

The picture in the lower right is called a "retroflex view". The end of the scope is bent around 180 degrees and looking back at the way its coming from. The purpose is to check the inside of your butthole for polyps and hemorrhoids that would otherwise be missed. Essentially its like twisting your next to look behind you as you back up and make sure the neighbor's retard of a kid isn't licking your bumper when the white lights come on.

 

*sigh* Fuck.. this is why I'm single isn't it?

 

"Hey baby, what do you do?"

 

"I GIVE PEOPLE DRUGS WHILE THEY HAVE THEIR POOP HOLES FILMED!!"

 

Yeah, I feel the same way some times regarding being single. Having grown up with mom working at the state chem lab (right next to the forensics unit) I got to see all kinds of weird shit. And occasionally they'd be cooking poop to examine the nutrients left behind for whatever purpose. So I have no problems talking about bodily weirdness, which sometimes makes others wonder.

 

You'd be amazed how fast you can clear a room by mentioning, "So I had a colonoscopy the other day! Want to hear about it?!" ;) Not to mention Dad studied biology. I still to this day always yell, "Tricopteran larvae!" whenever I see a hatch of caddis flys on the river.

 

The yellow things are the hemorrhoids, right?

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you know, all these guys think those oic's are bad, you should repost the original oicture that is burned into my brain

 

CLICK IF YOU'RE BRAVE (And haven't just eaten): http://images.google.com/search?hl=en&safe=off&gbv=2&biw=1920&bih=936&tbm=isch&sa=1&q=prolapsed+hemorrhoid+surgery&oq=prolapsed+hemorrhoid+surgery&aq=f&aqi=g-S2&aql=&gs_sm=e&gs_upl=4914l5786l0l6009l8l6l0l0l0l0l246l442l0.1.1l2l0

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